Living Your Memories
In today’s Gospel, the Resurrected Jesus comes to the cowering disciples and the first words out of His mouth are “Peace be with you.” Then, as it were, to seal the deal, He shows them His tortured hands and feet. It must have been both comforting, and initially, terrifying.
We know that Thomas was not among them and when told of Jesus’ appearance, he boldly stated he wouldn’t believe until he was physically able to touch Jesus’ wounds. But did the others touch Jesus that first time? We do not know.
The apostles would have been there when the nails went into flesh. They would have heard that too. Sometimes it’s the sounds we remember most, especially when they are not pleasant: the crash of fenders, the pop of a gunshot, a scream. Did someone other than Thomas have the nerve to reach out and feel the scars of God? But Jesus had been resurrected: if being raised from the dead was possible, why not get rid of the wounds?
Yet keeping them is important. Jesus knew He was not going to physically stick around. These visits – however consoling- were not to last. The disciples – and that includes us as well – needed to understand that the wounds are part of the journey. But so is the peace He offers. Not one life lacks either.
Because wounds were part of Jesus’ journey – and we can’t forget that most wounds aren’t physical and He would have experienced those too – He made a point of telling His friends that “as the Father has sent me, so I send you.” In other words, you are going to get a few wounds of your own. Yet, at the same time, He bestows peace and empowerment.
Bob Dylan wrote “if you want to keep your memories, you first have to live them.” Perhaps the apostles joined Jesus thinking they’d get, among other things, some meaning in their lives, or excitement or something to do other than fishing or a speed pass to glory. But maybe not so much upheaval and the accompanying wounds. Yet, there were to learn that one’s memories are not the same as one’s dreams.
When Jesus meets them in that locked room and offers them peace, He also gives them the Holy Spirit. He does this with His own breath, so that they don’t misunderstand: this power is coming directly from Him.
They will have memories, all right: but they will absolutely live them.